6/7. On days like this, I can't even think about my romance. The fifth year is coming soon, and there is no end in sight. Our offensive began yesterday - north of Kharkov. We got enough this year, it's time to do something. The officers from the SS division are surprised at the pessimism prevailing in our division. They have collected the best human material. Each of their corporals would be a sergeant major. Moreover, they drink, revel in, and ours often do not eat their fill. Nevertheless, the SS are robbing and taking away everything from the local residents.
9/7. If I were ten years younger, I would have gone to the SS, I would have been SS-Fuehrer. Of course, they are limited and overly optimistic, but still a new, young Germany lives in them.
14/7. Not encouraging news. Battle in the areas Belgorod - Orel. Heavy bombing of the Rhineland. Our beautiful country is being devastated. I can't sleep - I think about it. Is this the beginning of the end? Will everything be lost again in the fifth year of the war? Truly happy are the idiots and the deceived. But the number of those who understand is growing. The mind constantly sees signs of death, but the heart does not want to believe. In my talk, I got so carried away that it was like a sermon. No, Germany cannot abandon its goals! We are fighting for our living space and for our German way of life.
17/7. Yesterday a large Russian offensive began in our division's sector. The main blow was directed at the southern flank between Petrovskaya and Izium. Our 457th regiment is there. The Russians everywhere managed to break into our location. They surrounded several settlements. The fighting was fierce. My 466 regiment was at first behind, as in the reserve of the army. By noon, the situation became serious, and we were brought into battle. All day a terrible mess. Orders, counter-orders. Our battalion covers the command post of the division. Even a company of convalescents who had just arrived from Germany yesterday were thrown into battle: one rifle for three!
18/7. The Russians are bombing the battle formations and the rear. Air battles. During the day, the Russians attack with tanks. Then the Viking SS moved on. Local breakthroughs have been stopped, but Russian attacks are intensifying. They fight very hard. Our division has no more reserves. The 466th regiment was disbanded, the remnants were poured into the 457th regiment. Let's hope it gets better tomorrow.
21/7. Early in the morning, a large Russian attack with tanks began. Both division commanders were absent. The Russians came from the east, from the south and from the west. I managed to calm a bunch of our infantrymen and get some of the gunners to return to their guns.
23/7. We are trying to hide in the ground, hard as stone, it is not easy. There are a lot of losses. There is nothing to hope for replenishment. I have never seen such a hurricane of fire. Oh, if we had our 1941 army!
25/7. In seven days we lost 119 of 246 people: 31 killed, 88 in the infirmary. In addition, 36 were lightly injured.
1/8. I think about our huge losses. In most cases, we could not even bury the dead. Two terrible winters and our army melted away. So many senseless sacrifices! You think with horror about the future. How happy those who died in Poland and France - they believed in victory!
3/8. We have a right to be proud of our defense. But still, for the first time, the Russians decided to attack in the summer.
4/8. If the Russians succeed in throwing us out of their country, the power of Russia will increase even more. Then no one can handle them for decades.
5/8. Dark news: Eagle passed. About two years ago I took part in the occupation of this city. Then I received an iron cross of the 2nd degree. What an irony - just today I was given an iron cross of the 1st degree!
7/8. In the morning the Russians bombed our positions and the passing SS units. A terrible picture: the dead, screams, ruins. This was repeated every two to three hours. On all roads.
8/8. Continuous air raids. The passing SS were badly damaged. Criminal irresponsibility: no cover.
15/8. It's nonsense that the war could go on for another four years. But what will be the end? What can it be? "There will be no triumph, but only a fall without dignity." No, Germany must hold out! Again, insane anger takes me over, it turns into hatred of the rulers. We have all forgotten how to laugh. But Germany will live, if only these fools do not completely destroy her.
23/8. The Russians were jubilant in their trenches this morning. We decided they were preparing to attack. It turned out that we surrendered Kharkiv. Another hard blow. Fighting in all sectors of the front. When did one people have to endure so many defeats in such a short time? And the bombing of Germany continues.
24/8. The bombing of Berlin crushed everyone. Elrabe (C. F. Brandes' wife) and I can easily be beggars. Plus we are attached to things. Here is Germany after ten years of the National Socialist system and after four years of war! Really, we wanted something else. May fate be more merciful to us than we deserve.
25/8. Himmler is the Minister of the Interior. We continue to follow the predetermined path. "The end of fate cannot be avoided …" Many, even smart people consider the slightest hint of thought to be something dangerous, almost a state crime. Something pushes me: to think it over, to understand the reason. But I do not dare to entrust the most recent conclusions even to my diary.
1/9. This drama began four years ago. It becomes a tragedy. I was put in charge of the convoy: 100 people and 180 horses. The British landed in Italy. After Orel and Kharkov - Taganrog. Berlin was bombed again. The retreat continues here. Although the front is still holding, everything is taking on the character of flight. Agricultural managers must turn in implements before they finish harvesting and threshing. In this way, little will be gained by Germany. What power was given to one person!..
5/9. The Germans are unlikely to emerge victorious from this struggle against the Russian land and Russian nature. How many children, how many women, and all give birth and all bear fruit, despite destruction and death! Prolonged plaintive cries spread throughout the village - and here the population is being evacuated. What a pity that unharvested bread remains in the fields! Potatoes, corn, sunflowers, pumpkins … There are now millions of homeless vagabonds in Germany.
7/9. We passed Slavyansk. Obviously, we will lose all of Eastern Ukraine with Donbass. Bridge fortifications in the Kuban also cannot be held. What we are losing now, we will never return. Are we going to have to lose all of Russia? Continuous bombing of Germany. Everyone now hopes for one thing: the long-heralded blow to England. If this does not happen, the end.
8/9. The civilian population of this village has been evacuated. There are so many sunflowers around that it would be possible to provide a small town with oil. Barns: oats, barley, rye, millet. Everything is threshed, but it will not be possible to take it out. What is thrown here can feed Berlin for a year. Heart bleeds. And part of the population is hiding in corn: they do not want to leave. The moans of women and the cry of children are heard from afar. The Germans, listening to these complaints, think of Germany. How many valuable things have been destroyed there! My thoughts keep returning anxiously to our Berlin apartment. After all, we had so many beautiful things, pictures, furniture, books …
9/9. Donets cannot be held back. Who would have thought that a Russian offensive could be so successful! We have just received the news of Italy's unconditional surrender. The sun is shining, but I would like the earth to be covered with darkness! The last act of the tragedy has begun. We have a very gloomy winter ahead of us. Now too hasty retreats will begin. Such an end after such a triumph! We should have chased away our mediocre politicians a long time ago. We are paying the price for their stupidity and arrogance. We conquered all of Europe, but the successes corrupted the Germans, they became vain and arrogant. And our rulers have lost all sense of proportion. In my opinion, Hitler is a big person, but he lacks depth and insight. He is an amateur in almost all areas. Apparently, he is not good at understanding people. Goering is perhaps the most popular of all - he is not a dogmatist, but a man of common sense. But he also walks over the corpses. Himmler's beliefs and goals can be judged by his appearance. Goebbels is cunning, but this is a petty person: politics from the back door, a representative of the third estate, the proletarian Talleyrand. Funk is not quite Aryan, clumsy and ugly. His frivolity and hooray optimism are one of the reasons for our grief. Lei outwardly resembles Funk. Vain and narcissistic. Obviously from the same test. Ribbentrop, the lord of comme il faut of the Third Reich, is certainly poorly educated and badly educated. Parvenu. And in the military field, not a single major person with the exception of Rommel. If only we had the strength to throw the Americans into the Mediterranean and start operations against England!
10/9. Villages are burning everywhere. What a misfortune that we could not keep this fertile land even for another month! Wild pictures of escape and confusion. A retreat always costs more blood and material losses than an attack. Why such haste? In Lozovaya we saw the bosses - von Mackensen. He, too, was not calm. When the Russians tried to break through, he was confused. I rarely saw such confusion, although thousands of soldiers, many officers, and even a general were sent for the defense. Yesterday I received eight written orders, one contradicting the other.
12/9. The 62nd division is completely crushed. We run into the remains of it. Our southern flank is now exposed.
23/9. Catastrophic retreat here and no skylight in Italy. I want to bang my head against the wall and howl with rage. The frivolity and mediocrity of megalomaniac rulers are to blame.
27/9. On the 24th in Dnepropetrovsk, which was just evacuated. Much grief. Large blasting operations. Disbandment of the convoy, return to the regiment. The third battalion was disbanded. Ominous signs are multiplying - the carts and rear units are swelling. Yesterday I met a regimental train, which numbered at least 950 people. The colonel should have been arrested. After all, there are not so many people in our entire regiment. And everyone is dragging women and junk with them. Unhappy Germany! In all respects it is worse now than in 1914-18. Our fighting strength is gone, and the Russians are getting stronger from day to day. The general just today handed over to the field court 9 people from our battalion, who cowardly fled from the Russians. Where did we come in the fifth year of the war? But we have no right to dissolve, otherwise the dam will break and the horror will begin. The Russians have captured the bridgeheads on our side of the Dnieper since yesterday. For two days now they have been repelling our strongest counterattacks, inflicting heavy losses on us. You only hear about the killed and wounded. We have to drop them tomorrow morning.
28/9. Russian artillery is very strong and breaks everything. Great disagreements between the colonel and the general. Tank attacks and dive bombers are also of little help. The infantry is greatly weakened by heavy losses. There is not much left of the 1st battalion … There are almost more staff officers in the ranks than privates. A decent mess. Counterattacks are postponed from hour to hour, or they choke … The Russians shoot like madmen. A pile of dead and wounded is growing. I write the last lines and go to the positions. Few I will find there. The battalion melted away. We are finally at an impasse. Germany calls out to her last sons. However, most do not want to follow this call.
29/9. I took over the first company. There were only a few people in it. There were 26 soldiers left in the entire battalion. The heaviest Russian fire lasts for hours. Every house trembles, every corner is pierced through and through. With only a small number of people available, this is a real massacre. Received an order to collect the remains. In the afternoon, terrible screams, a breakthrough of the front, the rollback of all units and, finally, a wild flight. I stood in a small village and tried in vain to stop the fleeing people. A terrible picture of decay. I was forced to kick one young officer in the ass. This was not successful. By means of threats, it was possible to collect no more than ten people
3/10. I command 1, 2 and 3 companies. In reality, all three companies make up a handful, no more than 30 people. We had two Alsatian twins in our company who turned deserters and are now talking to us on the radio. The former driver also says hello to his wife. The enthusiasm and impulse go over to the side of the Russians. I have never heard such terrible curses as now from our wounded.
4/10. Examined the new positions. It's only pretty good if we had soldiers! A general offensive towards the Dnieper is not planned, since we do not have enough forces for this. On the contrary, they expect further breakthroughs from the Russians.
6/10. Replenishment finally arrived yesterday, and I formed a completely new company. We are 35 people, including 10 officers and 1 non-commissioned officer. Almost all people are elderly. Correspondence with relatives of the victims. It's amazing how quickly many are comforted. In three letters the wife demanded to send them the razors of the victims. The political and martial law is getting worse from day to day. Do not be upset with little things. Oh Germany, Germany!
7/10. Russian artillery and mortars fired briskly. The German artillery responded quite well from time to time. Our new machine guns did not fire. There is a lot of trouble in this regard.
8/10. One comrade had a Spanish newspaper with all sorts of interesting messages. I also read some completely new opinions about Hesse (Hitler's commission). This fits well with our extremely dumb policy. Children and fools made politics, they dressed up in Machiavellian clothes, which, in fact, does not suit them at all. We played with fire for too long and thought it would only burn for us. These are the consequences of Goebbels' propaganda. We were presented with a distorted view of the world and all things for so long that we began to take our illusions for the truth. Today there is a lively artillery activity towards Zaporozhye. They say that we have already started blowing up everything there. Not that! Then our position here will become even more critical. After all, the rolling shaft must stop somewhere, and it must be here, on the Dnieper!
15/10. Any action taken with soldiers of the fifth year of the war is risky. They fight badly, it is almost impossible to force them to go on the attack. Zaporizhzhia is handed over.
18/10. Unfortunately, I have almost no non-commissioned officers, and the few that still exist are worthless. Therefore, I have to do everything myself. One sergeant major needs to be persuaded when he shoots, the other is an orderly and was transferred only because of a misdemeanor against § 175. Of my three non-commissioned officers, one is a commander-in-chief, the other is a clerk, and the third spent four years of the war in the office in Poznan.
22/10. The Russians are firing at us - we cannot stick our heads out of our holes. From early morning until late at night, I run, urge on, cheer up. We have to hold out and hold out. By the end of the day, the Russians had broken through the right flank on a broad front. In addition, about a hundred Russians lay in our rear. In the east, and in the south - the Dnieper, the road to the west is cut off. It is impossible to count on large counterattacks - there are not enough reserves. The order has just been received to drop everything that we cannot take with us. So again retreat! It too. It is almost impossible to transfer it. Everything has its boundaries. Oh, those idiotic politicians who, in the fifth year of the war, inflict such suffering on our people! Unhappy Germany!
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Newspaper "Krasnaya Zvezda" No. 307 dated December 29, 1943.
