Illustration: Snob. Ru / Ilya Viktorov, Igor Burmakin
This incident could occur in any military collective, therefore I do not name either the number of the military unit or the name of the unit, but for the sake of figurativeness I will say whether we had it.
In those ancient years, when typewriters, after buying in a store, had to be registered with the competent authorities, and they were in limited quantities, people with calligraphic or legible handwriting were highly valued. In the army, such individuals were preferred to be called in the old manner - a scribe. As in any unit of our regiment, there was also a clerk in our company. He wrote, you know what. Schedule of classes, posters in the Leningrad room, various magazines filled. Clerical work is cleaner than servicing combat vehicles in the park, and therefore it didn’t work for grandfather in such a job. That is, we had a clerk, a grandfather, a demobilizer, a tenant, a civilian in five minutes. With every minute the long-awaited date approached - dismissal home. In addition to it, the start date of the autumn check was approaching, a kind of examinations to determine the combat capability of each company separately and the regiment as a whole. In order for every serviceman to be imbued with greater responsibility for this event, the head of the service gave an oral order: “To make a poster with the inscription
"There are … days left until the autumn inspection." Change the number in the poster every day, according to the number of days remaining"
Started on Monday, 15 days. Then 14, 13, 12, 11, 10.
Sunday has come. The grandfather-clerk rests on weekends, and he will laugh at his call if you start drawing a sign with a number on Sunday. (And in advance to write, with a poster pen, all the tablets with numbers either did not guess or did not want to). On Monday, the head of the service, approaching the door of the company office, on the door of which the poster was attached, saw a discrepancy in the numbers (the number 8 should have flaunt, and the poster was stuck at 10). Perhaps the clerk again either forgot or did not have time to change the numbers. The head of the service demanded that hour in a loud voice of a careless clerk and taught him a lesson in mathematics. For better assimilation of the material, he took it firmly by the neck from behind and hit his forehead against the door, with the words: "There is 1 day left before the autumn check."
With the second blow of the forehead against the door, 2 days, then 3 days, 4 days, 5 days, 6, 7, 8 days. "And in your opinion 9, 10 days."
Counting to ten and ten knocks on the door. And the major did not look at the fact that the scribe was a "grandfather", one must think for him he was a rookie.