My grandfather, an engineer-inventor Vasily Mikhailovich Maksimenko, was a particularly valuable specialist and, in fact, was not supposed to go to war. But at the beginning of the war, he said something about Stalin, someone denounced him, and his grandfather was immediately sent to the front as a foreman of a mortar crew (although, in terms of his level of engineering and military training, he could well be an officer). Until the end of the war, my grandfather served in the 1140th regiment of the 340th rifle division. I don't remember his stories about the war: he died when I was still a child. But there were letters from the front to my grandmother Lydia Vasilyevna, who lived in evacuation with two small children - my father Vladimir and Natasha, who was born just before the war - from relatives in the village of Pavlovo, the then Gorky region (now the city of Pavlovo-on-Oka). These are frayed little leaves, written in small illegible handwriting, often in a crumbling pencil, and not everything can be read today. In them, for obvious reasons, there is not a word about military operations, and the grandfather does not particularly brag about his feats, only repeating from time to time: "I am doing my duty to the Motherland in good faith, you will not have to blush for me." At the same time, they have a huge moral lesson in how to relate to the Motherland, to the family, how to serve their cause, how to preserve humanity in seemingly unbearable conditions. Here are some excerpts from these letters.
Unfortunately, not a single front-line photograph of my grandfather has survived, but I can send him a photo in civilian clothes from about those times; photos of the people referred to in the letters, photos of the letters themselves, as well as photos of a grandmother with children, the story of which is told in detail.
Hello dear Lida! I am already writing you the fifth letter, but I have lost all hope to receive from you. How can you explain your long silence? It's hard for me to convey to you how worried I am. I had a definite opinion that something happened at home. I just can't come to terms with the idea that the delay in letters is due to the fault of the mail. If I were sure that everything was going well at home and that the delay in the letters was due to your fault, I would have thrown you an insulting reproach. I am far from thinking to suspect you of something bad. I am sure that the reason for the delay in the letters is completely different, but I assure you that I will have the courage to reschedule any of your messages, no matter how hard it may be for me. When my comrades are interested in my family or we share memories of a peaceful life, how many good things about you and the guys you just can't tell them. When asked whether I receive letters from home, how things are at home, I do not know what to answer. You feel somehow uncomfortable with yourself. Moreover, the soul becomes hard, heavy and painful that you have been forgotten. Do I really deserve something that they do not consider it necessary to inform me for such a long time? Dear Lida! Maybe you were sick? Maybe you are sick at the moment? Then someone from my family would write me a letter. I am not writing to you about the illness of the guys or anyone else. I know you would tell me about it. We must not forget that here at the front we are fully aware of how difficult it is for you in the rear. If you compare you and me, then I can safely say that you have a harder time. But the requirement that is presented to me by the Motherland, I honestly and conscientiously fulfill. You won't have to blush for me. (My grandmother married a very young grandfather, barely sixteen years old. And my grandfather was then already quite an adult, a twenty-three-year-old experienced engineer. When the war began, they were both very young people. And I was always amazed at how delicately my grandfather gave instructions to my grandmother on all everyday matters.)
They provide me with everything. You have to think about yourself, about children and provide us with everything we need. I really appreciate the work of the rear and I am aware of the hardships of the war resting on your shoulders. We eat much better than you. Sometimes we get cookies. When I eat it, I involuntarily remember the guys. I would gladly give up this luxury so that our children get it.
Dear Lida, keep in mind that I am in battles almost continuously. It is possible that misfortune will happen to me. It will be much easier for me to endure everything if I am calm for you. Please write to me more and more often.
The photo of Lidia Vasilievna's grandmother with her son Vladimir is the source of the one that the grandfather originally took to the front and the loss of which he describes in one of his first letters
Lida! You know me (though you don't quite understand yet), you know that I have never complained to you about my fate. Even in the smallest troubles, I tried to present everything to you in such an explanation in order to spare your pride and health. You know that I love you, you know what kind of love I show to our guys - this cannot be neglected. I do not demand pity from you for me. Pity and sincere love are two opposite things, but only the latter gives rise to the former. Do not think that I am so dull that I have lost all human senses. The laws of war are harsh. You know, Lida, I love my Motherland very much and I just can't come to terms with the idea that we will be defeated. I don’t want to brag about you, but I’m not a coward (they wrote about me and two comrades in the front-line newspaper Stalinskaya Pravda), and therefore you won’t blush for me. I am still young, I want to live, I want and dream to see you all, but my fate is unknown. (I am writing to you, and shells are flying overhead.) My former letters and this letter must leave some trace in your memory. I want you to remember only good things about me. Do not be offended by the reproaches I have written to you. You must understand that only a person without a soul and insincerely loving could remain silent about what I wrote to you.
Dear Lida! I am very happy for the guys. Your description of Natasha delights me. Unfortunately, you speak too coldly about Volodya. Lida, you must understand that the two of us are to blame for his behavior and character. It will be harder for him in the future than for Natasha. Love for a child is not limited to being cared for, i.e. he is dressed, shod, full. He needs affection. Fair caress, in which he would not see the difference in attitude. I assure you, he will be much better if you change your attitude towards him. In general, the mother's children should be the same.
It's a shame I can't order you, but I'll try. The order will be as follows: no matter what it costs you, no matter how much time you have to spend, you must send me a photo of the children and yourself. Contact Aleksey Vasilyevich for assistance, I think this can be done. (Alexey Vasilievich Fedyakov is the husband of Sophia Vasilievna's grandmother's sister. At the beginning of the war, he was with his family in Pavlov, then went to the front, fought very worthily, had awards.) I had to part with your and Volodina's photograph. This was not my fault. I will describe this case to you. Once, enemy aircraft appeared over the location of our battery. I don’t know how they noticed us, but several bombs fell. We have three people wounded, one killed. My duffel bag was also damaged. Things were scattered about. And my comrades were surprised at me when, regardless of the danger, I looked for the book where your photograph was kept. From this incident, it will become clear to you how valuable she was to me. I hope that you will carry out my "order".
… You can assume that I can take offense at you for not sending me a package. Stupid (you, of course, do not be offended that I call you that), do you really think that I do not understand your position? If I received anything from you, I would only be offended for it. The best gift from you is frequent letters and, if possible, your photographs, so that I have the opportunity to look at the faces that are dear to me.
I really miss my job. I would like to write to Nevsky (a colleague and boss of my grandfather, co-author of some of his inventions) so that he would send me some materials from the institute. I'll try to get busy at the front. By this, I think to benefit my homeland. I cannot sit around. The desire to do more good to my homeland makes me apply my knowledge at the front. Perhaps there will be a change in my life soon. Today I received a letter with good news. I'm not going to tell you what I offered, it will not be clear to you, but in this letter I was informed that my proposal was reported to the head of the political department of the army and the command. Tomorrow I'm waiting for a special. a correspondent who comes to our unit to talk to me. (Our family archive contains a note that has been erased to holes with the heading "Secret."
It is already the ninth month since I left home. During this time, many changes have taken place. I have changed too, but don't think for the worse. No. It seems to me that everything that I had is what remains. Only the fact that I got to know people better was added. I realized a lot in life that had remained incomprehensible before. I learned and understood what deprivation is. I am not offended by fate. I perfectly understand what caused all this, and like any living person I dream of returning home with victory and again continuing to live with my family. Although we sometimes had problems, in general our life was not bad. … You will not be offended by me, and if I returned, I am sure that we would have healed much better.
Your memories of my wires and their comparison with the wires of Alexei Vasilyevich (Fedyakov, who just at that time went to war) are in vain. I could not, and I had no right to demand more from you. I know, if there was an opportunity, then everything possible would be done for me as well. I didn't even think to be offended, on the contrary, I myself felt guilty of something.
Once you wrote to me that my letters bring you not only joy, but you read them with pleasure. How difficult it is sometimes to give this pleasure, especially when you do not receive letters for a long time. You are a close enough person for me, and therefore limiting yourself to a dry and formal letter means showing your indifference to you. To write once again about your feelings, guesses, ridiculous assumptions is stupid. War plays on your nerves enough already, so you have to take that into account. Believe me, every letter of yours, whatever its content, is of great value to me. I perfectly know your character, habits, I know your attitude towards me in the past, I have not forgotten the expression of your personal feelings towards me, and therefore I regard your letters in my own way. For an outsider, they may seem too monotonous and, perhaps, official, for me - not.
I expect a separate letter from Volodya. Happy birthday to him. I can’t imagine him in my mind. He still seems to me to be my little son, with whom I have to go to the store to buy him a toy, and if a book, then necessarily with pictures. Probably, if I come back, at first I will need to ask you what interests him. Natasha is generally a mystery to me. Although you always write about her for the better than about Volodya, I have no idea about her. I remember her as a helpless little daughter, who, apart from worry (that she had nothing to eat during the war), delivered nothing to me. I loved her in my own way, but in this love there was more pity for her. You admire her, and that is why you would make me an invaluable pleasure if you could take a picture with the children and send me a card.
Grandmother with children Vladimir and Natalya - a photo that the grandfather, having received in return for the lost one, carried with him until the end of the war, and its source
Dear Lida! I am very, very grateful to you for the photo. If you could guess how much joy she gave me. Sometimes it seems to me that I have become closer to you. Peering into the traits dear to me, I am mentally transferred to the past, and together with joyful memories of the past, you dream of a good future. Conscience and duty to the Motherland makes me put up with many things, but if you only knew how boring, hard, hard sometimes it becomes, not physically, but morally. Do not think that this is due to being at the front. There is no feeling of fear - it has atrophied. Having spent my third year at the front, I became indifferent to many things. It becomes hard because you are very bored. There is no prospect of meeting soon. You have to put your personal interests on the back burner. Reading your last letters, which, in spite of everything, were very short and dry, I became convinced that it is also hard for you to wait for me. True, you promise to wait, which, of course, makes me very happy, but at the same time I am worried about the conditions of your material life, from which, I know, your mood can change. Do not be surprised by the last words, and most importantly, do not be offended. Of course, I have absolutely no right to suspect you of something bad, but, unfortunately, life itself, its harsh laws make me think not what I would like.
In the photo, you look as cute, good as you ever were. Your barely noticeable smile is just as simple and pleasant. Volodya has also changed. I feel that I have grown. Natasha - this black-eyed daughter delights me. Do not be jealous of Volodya, but I stare at her much more than at you. Perhaps this is due to the fact that your images have not been erased from my memory, and I have seen Natasha least of all. The overall impression you are all making is good.
The events and successes of the last days are very encouraging. It seems that the day is not far off when dreams will come true. O! If you knew what and how much you have to dream about at the front. These dreams are varied. The main dream is to defeat the enemy as soon as possible. We often paint ourselves a picture of returning home, meeting with everyone, and then it becomes easier to endure the hardships that arise at the front. It becomes especially good when you know that you have beloved children, a wife who are waiting for you. Believe me, rarely a day goes by when I would not look at a photograph. I have studied your face so much (I have not forgotten yours, and it has changed little) that you always stand in front of me.
I recently received a letter from Sergei. (Grandfather's brother Sergei Mikhailovich Maksimenkov - that's exactly how the brothers' surnames differed due to a passport officer's mistake - was a conductor. He was at the front as a member of a military orchestra. A man of fine mental organization, he could not endure the horrors of war and, returning after the Victory, he died a year later.) He is lucky, he was 10 days in Moscow. Everything would be fine if that uncertainty with Kolya was resolved for the better, and for our relatives this is the first trouble. Still, I hope for a good outcome. (Kolya is Nikolai Vasilyevich Emelyanov's grandmother's brother. He went to the front very young, probably having cleaned up his year of birth, served in the ski troops and died in 1944 at the age of 16-17.)
Sergei Mikhailovich Maksimenkov, grandfather's brother, musician, conductor, served in a military orchestra, died shortly after returning from the front
Dear Lida! Sadly, but I again gave you unnecessary worries with my silence. Believe me, Lida! This is not because I changed my feelings for you. Vice versa. Every day you and the children become more dear to me. How nice it is to know that there is a person who believes, waits and hopes for a meeting. How this hope makes it easier to experience the hardships caused by the war. Know, Lida, wherever I am, no matter what happens to me, my thoughts will always be with you. The family for me was and will remain the most precious thing. You will find my words strange, but I can tell you that I sacrifice a lot for the sake of my family. Someday I will explain to you what the essence of my words is, but for now they will remain unknown to you.
Please don’t think that having a family can make me a coward. The homeland is as dear to me as you are, and I have never been and will not be a coward, but at the same time I know that I must not forget about you.
Despite the fact that everyone is terribly tired of the war, the mood in the army is not bad. Everyone lives in the hope that the German will soon be defeated. He frankly admits: everyone is tired of this war. It is hard to think that three years have been erased from life. And how many people died. Sometimes it gets scary to think. There are very few people left with whom I went to the front. The rest are crippled or killed. Now we are located in the forest. The nearest settlement is 3 km away, but our front line is located there. We have a lull after the onset. Nevertheless, when I write this letter to you, sometimes my thoughts are distracted by German shells. True, you are accustomed to them and you are indifferent, but still they do not let you forget that there is war all around.
The weather is favorable for us. After a few days, when it was raining and there was nowhere to dry, the days were clear and warm. We sleep in the open air, and I often remember Stalingrad, when you and I slept on the balcony. Nature does not recognize that war. Despite the fact that the forest has suffered from ruptures, everything lives around. The birds do not stop singing, there are enough raspberries and nuts, and if it were not for the shots, one would think that you are at the dacha.
Lida! Forgive me for delaying the letter for so long. I have no special excuses. True, I am busy with one job, which takes a lot of my personal time. This work is connected with my civilian specialty, and I am very fond of it.
I am very pleased for you and Natasha. I am worried about Volodya, and for some reason I feel sorry for him. I know he is not with strangers, but to deprive him of your and my attention is too great a punishment. (Toward the end of the war, grandmother and little Natasha returned to Moscow, and my father stayed for some time in Pavlov with relatives and was very worried about it.) At his age, I was brought up in an orphanage. (The grandfather's family had seven children. His father, Mikhail Ivanovich Maksimenkov, was drafted into the Red Army in 1918 and died in the Civil War. work.) The memory of that life is still too fresh in my memory. As a child, I often thought about my situation and looked for the culprits, why I was in an orphanage. At that time I was not interested in the question that it is difficult to live. I had my own personal world and, unfortunately, no one could explain my delusions. Volodya, although big (by the end of the war, my father was nine years old), perhaps understands a lot, but still it is hard for him. It should be especially borne in mind that, as you write, "he went to his mother in character," and therefore he can feel, worry and never show the mind and is not recognized. I regret that this character trait passed on to him. It seems to me that our life in the past would have been much fuller. I can’t, and I don’t have the right to take offense at you, but for this line we often caused each other trouble for no reason. Sometimes it seemed to me that you did not completely trust me or were playing with my feelings, and even then I guessed that there was a certain trait in your character, and therefore I got used to it and resigned myself. I tried to make changes several times. True, unsuccessfully, rudely, causing you trouble, but you have to agree that sometimes you yourself were wrong. I do not want to engage in self-praise, but a person who knows me can live well. I am quick-tempered, hot, but at the same time, if I offended a person, then I always try to find a reason and make amends. In my life, I have not made enemies for myself who could take offense at me for a long time. I know that citizenship can't remember me badly. In the army, I also have many comrades and even friends, and therefore it is easier for me to experience all sorts of hardships.
Recently from Kazakov I. D. got a letter. Unfortunately, it was sad for me. Many in the rear have a not entirely correct idea of us. It is believed that we have become so coarse, become insensitive to everything, etc. - i.e. we can be absolutely indifferent to all things. Unfortunately, this is deeply mistaken. Each of us at the front has not stopped appreciating life. All that is associated with memories of the past is very expensive. I. D. Kazakov, in his little postcard, told me about the death of six comrades, including Yuzhakov, who died of a broken heart on the train, Pronin, Kazachinsky, etc. If they were all at the front, it would not be so hard, otherwise there in the far rear. All this leads to very sad reflections. After all, I have lived and worked with them for several years. How much has changed in three years. Who can believe how hard it is to wait for the end.
We are calm now. I found myself a new occupation, i.e. learning to play the accordion. Tune with him like on a piano, and therefore for me learning is easy. I play in the evenings. This allows a little distraction from the war.
Volodya! Why did you stop writing letters to me? I am very worried about how you live there (in Pavlov). Mom often writes to me. She misses and worries that you are left alone without her. Volodya! Write to me about your academic progress. Hope you study well. (By the way, my father studied very well, later he graduated from school with a medal.) Listen to your grandfather and grandmother. I received a letter from you in which you write about Uncle Lesha (Fedyakov). You are probably wondering if I have any awards. I also have two orders. (My grandfather, among other awards, was awarded the medal "For Courage" and the Order of the Red Star. Repeatedly in his letters he mentioned that he was nominated for the Order of the Red Banner, but, for reasons unknown to me, he never received it.) You cannot blush for me. have to. Your dad hits the German well and hopes that you will study and obey as well. The war will soon be over. I will come home. Let's all get together and live as before, good.
Lida! You will probably find it very surprising that you receive letters so often. I, of course, do not differ in the accuracy of writing often letters, just today for some reason it became sad and sad. I wanted to go home so much that I can't explain to you. Perhaps spring influences. At such a time, everyone wants to live, and therefore do not want to think about the war. How quickly time flew by, and I meet the fourth spring far from my home - at the front. It is easy only to say how much and what has not changed his mind during this time. If it were not for the consciousness that you are defending the Motherland, then this time would be a pity. When I'm bored, then for some reason I remember my whole previous life. The war has taught us to appreciate even what is sometimes neglected in citizenship. How in many ways you have to deny yourself. I envy many comrades who give little thought to how to spend their leisure time. I'm not talking about cinema, theater, and even a simple book in Russian is hard to get here, and you know very well that I loved to read. Almost all my free time is spent talking and remembering. Here, your brother beware. Criticize so that the ears fade. In my heart, of course, many contradict, not everyone wants to show their I. You have more worries there, and therefore there is less free time, and even then when you get together, then there are also enough conversations. We have a lull now, but this lull reminds us that there will be a thunderstorm soon. The weather is warm and warm. We go undressed. When you receive this letter, it will be as good in Moscow as it is now with us. Then you will understand what spring is, and, I hope, you will not be late in answering this letter.
Write in more detail about your personal life. Each person has his own hidden, inner life, which usually no one knows about. It is this desire and dreams that I would like to know. When I write this letter, I already guess in advance what you will write to me, but I ask you not to be surprised at the content of my letter. My letters are generally distinguished by unnecessary reasoning, and it is possible that some words are unpleasant for you. Well nothing. Lida! But when I arrive, you will not be offended by me either. I have changed in many ways in character and I think that not in a bad direction. Those. I learned to value life. Write to me about Natasha. I also sent a letter to Volodya, but for some reason he does not write to me. I am afraid that many will unaccustomed me and it will be hard for me right away. Write like mom's health. Glad you still look good, but it's a little dangerous. There will be rear Don Juans who can turn their heads. I will hope that everything will be all right.
Don't worry about me. I am alive and well.
I wish you all good health.
Write about everyone. Where, who and how lives. What they write.
I hug and kiss everyone tightly.
Vasya
Alexey Vasilyevich Fedyakov, the husband of the grandmother's sister, in whose family the grandmother and the children lived in evacuation. Also fought
