What a missile officer thinks about when he doesn't press the nuclear button
The Taman division of the Strategic Missile Forces is considered the largest missile formation in Europe in terms of combat power. It is armed with the famous silo-based Topol-M intercontinental ballistic missiles. Thanks to their charges, the world maintains a strategic parity of forces and our country, at the very least, continues to be reckoned with by our planetary neighbors. Correspondents of "RR" found out how the Taman missilemen are on duty and whether their finger above the nuclear button is trembling.
- Show the rocket, well, show the rocket, for the second hour the photographer "RR" whines, addressing the officers. He knows that very close, just a hundred meters away, behind that barbed wire fence there is a cover covered with a camouflage net, and under it, in a shaft 40 meters deep, He is "Topol-M".
- Well, we have a regime, it is said: regime, - the officers answer the photographer for the second hour. And then suddenly they say briefly: "Go to Google, we ourselves look there."
Flash on the left
As a teenager, I often dreamed of a nuclear war - the state agitprop affected. These were not exactly nightmares, but rather horror films: some kind of fiery clot like ball lightning burst into the window. But waking up was still painful - what if all Soviet people were already dead outside the window? In the village of Svetly, not far from Saratov, where the Taman division is stationed, they probably learned to cope with such fears, after all, the village is the target of a conditional enemy.
“Yes, we don’t need any psychological trainings,” says Olga Grigorievna, the deputy head of the Svetly administration for social issues, and also an experienced officer’s wife. - What is there to be afraid of? We will end immediately, but the rest will have to suffer from radiation sickness.
Her trained fatalism will be the envy of the kamikaze.
- And where did you get the idea that Svetly will be hit in the first place? - asks the psychologist of the division Sergei Yesenin. - They will not shoot at an empty spot. Our missiles will already leave - in response to their launches. The enemy will strike earlier, for example, at the Balakovo nuclear power plant. And it's better not to take it into your head at all, - the head specialist concludes.
We talk to him at the psychological aid and rehabilitation center. Suddenly, somewhere on the parade ground, there is a disgustingly alarming hum of a siren. Yesenin does not turn his head: a drill.
In short, what does not kill us, we get used to it.
Thirty five Hiroshima
The Topol-M rocket flies to New York in 30 minutes. And it doesn't matter where it flies from. “30 minutes and that's it” - that's what they say. There is something mystical in this formulation.
Traditionally, the missile power in the "Tatishchevo Division" - its popular name arose when the village was called Tatishchevo-5 - is measured by the fronts of the Second World War. Everything is simple here: one product - one front. Or Hiroshimami. And for some reason, Nagasaki is not measured. They say: "Topol-M" is like thirty-five Hiroshim.
“Divide everything into some,” warns our guide, Lieutenant Colonel Alexei Gusakov. - The military likes to exaggerate everything, I already know: all my life
in the army.
Unconditional conditional opponent
Russian Defense Minister is holding a meeting on staff reductions. "What suggestions will there be?" - asks. One of his deputies replies: "I think the reduction should start with the states of Ohio and Nevada."
This - who did not understand or did not serve - is an anecdote. But in every anecdote there is a place for the command "That's right!"
Whatever the generals say about "retargeting our military doctrine," America was and remains the main conventional enemy. And our 47-ton "Topol" is the little that we can oppose to it. Do you remember the already textbook: "If you dream of getting to America, join the rocket forces"? Perhaps the General Staff thinks differently or somehow along a different trajectory. But it is enough to hammer the words "Russia" and "USA" into one of the most massive Internet search programs (or vice versa), and the most popular user query: "war" will immediately jump onto the monitor like a louse. Because the people understand everything.
I am telling the officers a story I heard in another division of the Strategic Missile Forces about one missileman. During the Cold War, for many years he sat at the same "point" somewhere in the Berendey wilds of the Krasnoyarsk Territory. He was convinced that the missile that had become his own was aimed precisely at the United States. Then the Iron Curtain fell, he quit the army, became an exit, came with his wife to New York.
- He moved around Central Park with the dignity of a demiurge of the highest rank: there, like a ballistic charge or some kind of monad, the feeling fell on him that he had given life to all these idle rich people, - I conclude my story.
My interlocutors answer without any irony:
- And not only to them.
Or is it such a specific missile-strategic humor?
- Is it possible to find out where the rocket is directed?
- Earlier it was possible. You calculate approximately - according to the proposed area, according to the approximate trajectory, the amount of fuel in the rocket. And now no, the missilemen have only numbers and codes. Refuel with a margin. Maybe fly to the USA, or maybe to Poland.
Last year, one of our television companies, broadcasting to the West, filmed a film in the Tatishchevskaya Division. There, the officer on duty at the launcher assures, like small, civilized Western public: “We have no maniacs here who have decided to destroy the world. And people who want to feel like the rulers of the world, too."
Whose finger is above the button?
From time to time, TV crews come to the Taman division. Different and from everywhere. They came, for example, from Bashkiria. The journalist kept torturing the soldier: say yes tell me what your motto is. He held on for a long time, then decided to laugh: "After us - no one." The journalist believed. It is rightly said that the one who served in the army does not laugh in the circus.
And Vladimir put the telepatch about ten years ago
Posner. He came with an Air Force group. The group was interested in many things, but from behind this many, the only question stuck out: "Isn't it the idiot that Russian officer who raised his finger over the nuclear button?"
Lieutenant Colonel Sergei Gusakov drives us in an elderly German car, but it is a business class car. Serbian music sounds, something a la Bregovic. Trying to shout down the gypsy creaks, he recalls how the shooting went:
- Calls me the deputy commander, orders me to be a character. The entrance to my house was repainted twice.
By that time, some in the division had already watched a film about the life of an ordinary American rocketman. The plot and pictures there are classically advertising. The rocketman's cottage, his totally white-toothed family, a poisonous green lawn, all together, including the dog, are frying sausages.
Frame change.
A rocketman in civilian clothes gets into a new jeep. Goes to the service. At the checkpoint he waves his hand to the guard - his documents are not checked.
Frame change.
The rocketman changes into a military uniform behind a curtain, so that he can then change a colleague on the launcher.
For some reason, Sergei and his colleagues in all this simple plot remembered the American's snow-white cowards, flashing on the screen as such a lightweight erotic dove. These cowards were given to them.
- Better answer, why is everything so modest here? And the Americans, judging by the film, are not guarded by the missiles.
- They have a desert. As soon as the security cameras go off, a helicopter arrives. We don't have a helicopter. Why is he in the woods? We have an electrical fence. True, it has never caught saboteurs so far. You walk along - more and more gophers come across fried, hares hang on a wire. I have a photo on my phone. Show?
The director of Posner's film named Leslie, as it turned out later, had once served in British intelligence. Previously, foreigners generally came to the Taman division as to work - all sorts of commissions, delegations. Under the program for arms reduction, control and so on. "Tatishchevites" recall these checks with deadly healthy sarcasm.
- You look at the list of inspectors, and there are only Boris and Anatolia with Vladimirs.
- Like this?
- Well, our people, only the former. According to the protocol, they are assigned an interpreter. And you talk to them and see that they need a translator for figs. The eyes are so cunning - you can immediately see that everyone understands.
Pioneer dawn
Speaking of cowards. Those cowards that are now given to conscripts will be delighted in any small wholesale boutique. They are, of course, not white, but in a fashionable style. Recruits receive them at the military registration and enlistment office before being sent to the unit along with sets of summer and winter uniforms, including felt boots.
In general, the current conscription service - at least in the Taman division - gives the impression of a pioneer camp, albeit a strict regime.
To begin with, the service lasts a year. As they say, the soldiers do not even have time to get scared. Fired day after day, no delays. Introduced an afternoon quiet hour: those who are not dressed can nap for an hour after eating. The food itself is worthy of a separate discussion - not duner kebabs, of course, but quite decent salads, soups, cutlets. As the propaganda film says, "the soldiers get tea, coffee and even cheese."
But the main thing is that the compote is not made from bromine - called "antisex" - but from dried fruits. By the way, the question about bromine is still the most pressing issue in the army. Inferior, perhaps only interest - how the president's black suitcase with a nuclear button looks and functions. But this is just a concession to local specifics.
I remember my service in the construction battalion. End of the 80s. Our company was forgotten - this, however, was commonplace - and for four days no food was brought. No. We only had sunflower oil, which we drank in circles.
“A good remedy for cleansing the body,” one of the officers responds to my army bike.
“Not a single hungry person has crap yet,” another argues with him.
On the whole, it is clear that I will not be able to surprise anyone here with my courage: these are all the same hardships of army service that must be endured. As it was said. In the charter.
Regiment No. 55555. With this number, you can only receive prizes. At first glance, this barracks seems to us exemplary. Where else would the military take? However, later it turns out that, as in the "five fives", everywhere in the division. Above the entrance there is an anonymous inscription: "Behold the family in the unit, the father in the boss, and the brother in the comrade." There is a slight feeling that now you will step over the threshold of the book of the teacher Makarenko "Flags on the Towers". It is not clear who is asleep, who is up. Preparation of outfits is in progress. The movement is Brownian, but at the same time meaningful. Next to the day is a mailbox. Cooler with water. Leisure room with guitars, turtles, hamsters.
The associative function of the brain is rolling out on a platter our previous conversation with a teacher in an aircraft modeling circle.
- Do you see the model of the parachute rocket from the umbrella? The guys did it themselves. They tied the hamster. It flew beautifully. He returned safe and sound.
- Recently, a donkey was launched on the Black Sea, only on a paraglider, in order to attract tourists. A criminal case was opened on the fact of animal abuse.
- It's not me. But thanks anyway for the warning.
So, the barracks. The press you want: from the categorically obligatory "Red Star" to the completely optional Men’s Health. A plasma TV hovers over the bunks. Almost all shelves are equipped with the same.
- Diagonal 106, by the way, - confidentially and at the same time proudly tell us the counselors.
Linoleum floor. Therefore, there is no need, as under the Soviets, from morning to evening to rub mastic on a wooden "take-off" with the help of a "machine" - a metal brush that looked more like a barbell. Wow! And there is also a washing machine in the washroom!
A psychologist works in each part. All psychologists are not only civilians, but also ladies. To soldiers, they resemble mothers.
“We are pumping so much information about the atmosphere in the subunits because there are women here,” the commanders say with frightening frankness.
There is a body - there is a work
And also in the modern Russian army such an innovative concept as bodily examination has appeared. Rather, the concept has existed since 1997, but there was no inspection as such: the procedure did not want to become a "deterrent to the manifestation of hazing." Today it is already a system. At least that's what we were assured. Every single day, at the evening check-up, conscripts are lined up in the barracks dressed in the form of "times", that is, underpants and slippers. The personnel tour is conducted by a telesnik and a zaveer - deputy for educational work. Inspection data are entered in magazines, individual cards.
In this case, the main thing is not to confuse a hematoma with abrasion from new boots. The regiment commander Gennady Koblik recalls how, in front of his eyes, after a watch, a soldier stumbled on the means of protection, fell, hit a stool and cut the skin on his head.
- We called an ambulance for him. It was sewn up there a little, just a few stitches. There was no concussion. But I reported this terrible wound to the division commander, we called his mother, told in detail that it was an accident, not hazing. - The Colonel does not dare to talk about it openly, but with all his appearance he shows: too much.
The "Tatishchevskie" commanders are generally very wary of the latest innovations in Moscow.
They stopped enrolling in military schools - where to get replacements for those leaving for the reserve? Warrant officers' schools were closed - where will engineering specialists come from? Or there are already vile proposals for conscripts to serve in the region from which they were drafted. And Saturday and Sunday are going to be a weekend for those who are not dressed. Who will defend our border with China then? There is also a population of one and a half people per thousand hectares.
- It remains for them to set a brothel in part for complete hormonal happiness, - we say more for a laugh.
“They won't, we have closed it,” one of the officers replies with unexpected regret. Deciphers: - Closed administrative-territorial unit.
Your Highness
But everyone here knows each other by sight, and strangers are immediately visible. How else to explain that, as soon as we passed the checkpoint, a police car stopped near us? We liked the Svetlovsk policemen: they politely checked the documents and, apologizing for their disturbance, said that they had a “day of increased vigilance” today.
- What's happened? - we ask, suspecting that we missed the news about the next terrorist attack.
- Today is the birthday of the head of the Department of Internal Affairs. Well, the president of Russia, too.
It is immediately clear that Svetly is a military settlement. Everything here is zoned. Even civic space. When asked how to get through, the counter will answer: "You need this in the garage zone."
The number of residents is considered classified information here. But everyone is happy to divulge it: 13 thousand.
The officers say that their village is divided into three districts: the Country of Fools, Center and Prostokvashino.
The country of fools - because it is far away. What kind of fool will live there? The center is the center. There is a caravel on a pedestal - an object of either very modern or very ancient art. And Prostokvashino - there used to be barracks, but now five-story buildings have been built. But the signs of the village subculture continue to crow and grunt.
It is customary to throw gobies in Svetlyi into an urn. For rubbish - a fine. From a thousand to four. But two witnesses are needed.
Local residents affectionately refer to their village as "military unit number 89553". It is easier for them to pronounce this alphanumeric set than to break their tongue over the words "Light" or "Tamanskaya". In general, we have noticed that the rocketeers have a passion for acronyms. An outsider will never understand what they are talking about among themselves. Let's say what this means:
“And drive me, brother, to the NPiAGO department, and then to the PSiMO, SNS and the RHBZ service”?
If you ask for a decryption, they will say: a military secret. But in fact, it turns out that these are some kind of peaceful units like the KECh - the apartment-operational unit. We managed to find out only one secret: everywhere we were accompanied by Alexander Vasilyevich, a bright man in civilian white trousers, walking charisma, a former divisional commander, everyone called a "zaetheshnik", it turned out - an employee of the department for the protection of state secrets.
Everywhere in Svetly, signs of army life are bursting outward, clearly and latently, like champignons through the asphalt.
- May I announce the menu? the cook asks.
It's stupid, of course, but you have to answer: "We allow it."
Here is the Topol store. Where can we go without it? It would be strange if it were not there. It is good that not "Satan" - we have a rocket with that name, however, according to the American classification.
On another poplar - a pyramidal one - an ad flutters: "I sell a set of military uniforms, in assortment, at a cheap price." What's behind these ink scribbles? Long-awaited retirement? The loneliness of a military pensioner?
Here are the nickel-plated urns in the officers' hotel, made by some self-made in the form of cut-off missiles with nozzles.
And everywhere - on all paths and sidewalks - there are mothers with strollers. Children and teenagers of different ages - in sandboxes, on roller skates, skateboards. Some kind of city of children. According to Alexander Lunev, the head of the urban district of the Svetly ZATO, the average age in the village is a little over thirty, and the birth rate is one third higher than the death rate. Svetly has everything you need for an autonomous and prosperous existence: a music school, an art school, a gym, a swimming pool - just to name a few. More than half of the graduates of local schools go to the budget departments of universities. But the main thing: the village has an independent budget, and the town-forming enterprise is the Taman division, which, due to nuclear circumstances, the state is unlikely to ever be deprived of its attention. Here, any visitor immediately has a slight feeling of the year 1985. Locals secretly call their village an island of socialism.
And here's another thing. There is no cemetery in Svetly. Indeed, what is the cemetery in the village with that name?
M and F
Or some officers are abusing: they say, the prestige of the army is falling, look, no one wants to marry the military! They lie. There are few unmarried people in Svetly. Some come already with their samovar. Others start a family locally. "After college I was single for two years, then I could not stand it - such a beauty around!" - this is how most officers answer the question about the reasons for the marriage. And local girls have a proverb: "Let for a beggar, but from Tatishchev." Should they not know that almost the entire leadership of the Strategic Missile Forces went through this division.
About the prestige of military service and that prestige is a direct consequence of information openness, we start a discussion with Viktor Beletsky, a former officer, a local legend. He has his own point of view on the problem:
- Openness? Agree. But this is if there is something to show. Here you have a big dick, and show it to everyone. And if small - only to his wife and, perhaps, his mistress.
Beletsky can be trusted. The officers say about him: "He is in the army more than I live."
By the way, about wives and maybe mistresses. And also their husbands and maybe lovers. In the "Tatishchevskaya division" we did not find any pot-bellied men. They are simply not here, and it immediately catches the eye. It turned out that flat bellies are not an accident, but the result of the order of the Minister of Defense No. 400-a.
No. 400-a
According to this document, adopted the year before last, the best officers of the Russian army on combat duty are paid a substantial monthly salary bonus. For example, for the servicemen of the Taman missile division, it reaches 70 thousand rubles. But in order to receive it, an officer must not have penalties and must fulfill a lot of different standards, including physical training. Every six months they are given a kind of exam, plus so-called sudden checks.
So they run around in the mornings with the soldiers: they burn fat, and at the same time they control the soldiers so that instead of charging they don't smoke around the corner of the barracks.
“I’m at Fizo with both hands,” says the registrar Gennady Koblik, taking a deep drag on his cigarette. On his bedside table he has a mug: "If a colonel runs in peacetime, it causes laughter, if during a war - panic." “But the commanders don't have enough time. It's hard if you got up at five o'clock and then run. Here take me. When I come to the service at eight, it's already a fasting day. Stop, set aside: by seven thirty.
In the Taman division, many officers by inertia command themselves. Sign of high qualifications or - professional deformation?
But not everything is so rosy. On the one hand, the "presidential award" caused a real consumer boom in Svetly and really raised the standard of living of many officer families. On the other hand, Order No. 400-a is fraught with internal conflicts. Some get it, others don't. Like it or not, envy comes out like a worm. Here the wives are also connected. You can understand them: one husband brings 80 thousand home, another - 20. Moreover, this allowance is a very ephemeral thing. Suppose one soldier got another in the face, and that's it - their commander has no bonus. Therefore, they wipe the snot to the personnel, even where it would not be worth it.
- Rather, 2012 would come when everyone, as they promise, will receive such allowances, - Koblik starts a little. - Otherwise, all this creates social tension, negatively affects the service. Squabbles, sidelong glances. The first year was tough. How did we get out of this situation? Turn off the recorder …
The charter of god
Evening. The soldiers are leaving for dinner. They sing the same unforgettable "Kurkovaya, Powdery". Some walk in silence or open their mouths soundlessly.
- How do you cope with refusals, for example, to wash toilets? Say, the Koran forbids.
“Each fighter has his own matzah,” says Sergei Yesenin. - First, you need to have an idea of the subject, to know at least elementary things: what are suras, for example, or ayahs. I am not telling the soldier: show me where it says that you cannot clean your point. I talk to him about his religion. And when it turns out that his knowledge of Islam does not extend beyond the words "I am a Muslim," he gives in, as a rule. And this applies not only to Muslims.
Yesenin fishes a Seventh-day Adventist book off the shelf. Tells: - They brought in one - he refused to take the oath. I sat and thought - I decided to invite their pastor from Saratov. He agreed surprisingly easily. He came and said to the soldier: “My dear, I myself served in the Soviet army, I left for demobilization as a sergeant. What is your problem?" “Right there in the oath it is written:“I swear”, but we cannot swear,” the fighter replies. “Say: I promise. And about the fact that we are forbidden to work on Saturday, so I will agree with the commanders. " As a result, the young man took the oath, he does not go on combat duty - he was sent to the logistics support battalion.
Every Tatishchev officer has a whole Talmud of such stories.
“I also had an Adventist, by the name of Belonozhko,” Lt. Col. Alexei picks up the topic. - I went online and found nothing about the ban on weapons. Therefore, he said to him: “Introduce your family, children. They were attacked, you have a submachine gun at your fingertips. Will you use it? " He did not think long. “Yes,” he says. "Then go to the shooting, learn." And then I realized that he had nothing special to learn: it seems that he was a bandit in civilian life. So the machine gun could be disassembled worse than everyone else, including Caucasians.
Turn on the guy
Many times I had to hear from the commanders of other military branches: if three soldiers from the North Caucasus get together, this is already a gang.
The Taman division does not make any drama out of this.
- Yes, they come with installations, says a rather young major. - They have already been told at home what they should and should not do in the army. But with a skilful organization of work, all objections can be removed. We must use their desire to serve: it happens that they themselves pay money to get into the army. Their hands are often golden - they do this, which the Russians are not capable of.
- Well, this is when they do it for themselves.
- When you are interested. You just have to keep them busy. Otherwise the commander will close the rest room, they have nothing to do - they are young: “Come here, soldier. Take a scrap - sweep. " Plus, such a procedure as disciplinary arrest began to work systematically, put on stream. The commanders already know how to draw up documents, the judges have also got used to it. Give him a dozen days "lips" - he begins to think. Because they are not included in the service life. And now he is already running after the commander, asks to remove the penalty, shouts: "I will wash my point."
- Yes, what a "lip" now, - senior colleagues contradict the major a little nostalgically. - How was it before? You decided to send a malicious violator of discipline to the guardhouse - it was enough to incapacitate him, declare seven days, write a note about his arrest and say goodbye to him. And before landing, all his personal belongings were taken away from him. And in the cell, except for his bedbug friends, no one was waiting for him. He went to bed - he put a handkerchief on his face so that they would not devour him during the night. And now? First, you need to collect a bunch of papers, take the case to the Saratov court and prove there that he is a scoundrel. And in the guardroom he has both a change of underwear and a mirror - please! All the amenities you want. I came, slept for a week - it seems like they were punished.
- Here, if the winter is good, it sweeps all the roads, - the third officer joins in. He seems to be slightly offended for the Slavic bazaar. - You can't get to the guard. You have to walk six kilometers to your waist in the snow. You stomp, for example, with a Dagestani, he is already a full-fledged uncle - 24 years old, seemingly strong, healthy. And he himself cries and curses Russian January, because he cannot move his legs. And a puny Bashkir or a Slav - where does that come from! - does not complain, it skips ahead of you, and even carries a weekly supply of food with it or a 17-kilogram radio station. Character manifests itself not when a fighter pulls a kettlebell or hits a punching bag, but when a real man turns on.
Some kind of rebellion
- We have a car - a miracle! We did it ourselves, '' the psychologist Yesenin boasts. - It gives the indices of conflict and cohesion of the group, conflicting pairs, sociometric status, that is, the hierarchy: who dominates, who is difficult to adapt. Look, - the psychologist hands us some clever sheets. There, under the heading “Mutually deny each other,” for example, we find a couple of fighters: Anashbaev - Mirzaev. Strange, judging by the names, should be attracted.
- We should, but we don't have to, - Yesenin comments. - Look, Millstones and Makarov - too.
- And Mirzaev, I see, generally denies every second. Even Moiseeva. What a scoundrel!
Every month, the division's psychologists conduct a survey to identify the facts of hazing.
- There are open and indirect questions. Let's say open: "Is there any hazing in your department?" The fighter ticks the box "No." And here is the indirect one, which follows: "Where are cases of hazing most often occur - in the household room, in the dining room, in the toilet?" The fighter is circling the "Toilet". - Yesenin laughs enough: he split the fighter.
- It's like "Have you stopped drinking cognac in the morning?"
- Yes sir.
- Do you have psychological emergencies?
The scientist knocks on the table superstitiously, for some reason twice:
- No, thank God. We have emergencies associated with the unauthorized abandonment of a unit. And each case is different. For example, a soldier came from an orphanage. He ran there every three months and continues here. He is such a traveler in life. Nobody beat him, did not humiliate him, did not take away the oil.
In this, all commanders are unanimous: the requirements for the officer corps are increasing, but not for the privates.
“A district policeman from a neighboring village calls me:“Take yours, he’s sitting here with me,”says the regiment commander Koblik. - We take him away, find out why he ran away. He replies that he missed the house. As a result, the commander receives a penalty - he did not fit into the soul. This means that the allowance is lost. It happens that the commanders are wrong, I do not argue. But committees of soldiers' mothers often start out of the blue. If an officer humiliated, did not give the soldier a norm, I myself will punish this, it will not seem a little. Or hazing, when a senior conscription torments the younger - here, too, you need to figure it out. A slap on the head, shouted somewhere … Father flogged me - nothing terrible happened. Children in kindergarten are fighting. Why can't healthy men here, if they haven't shared something?
The deputy commander for educational work, Colonel Nikolai Lishai, joins the conversation as soon as he hears the phrase "committees of soldiers' mothers." At this moment, his face cannot be called good-natured:
- Moms are really just blackmailing the commanders. Although we do what we just do for them! On the oath, we show the film, introduce the direct
commanders of their sons, we exchange phones. And they still panic. Although the Strategic Missile Forces are raspberries, not the army. Bullets don't whistle, tanks don't need to be repaired. Sit on guard, learn English for college.
He reinforces his irritation with a story about a fighter from Krasnodar who was hospitalized with a cold - his mother got alarmed, decided that he had been beaten, wrote a complaint to the military prosecutor's office.
- When everything was cleared up, she apologized. But the paper has already gone to the authorities. I had to write a bunch of different explanatory notes from scratch.
Everyone was as nervous after this tirade, including us. They rushed to light a cigarette. There is no better way to calm your nerves than to take a psychological test. Psychologist Sergei Yesenin tests us, like all rocket scientists, on his miracle machine using the famous Luscher color test. After five minutes, the result is already ready. There is a lot of complicated formulations. Among them are the most understandable: "an unaccustomed environment, unsettling" and "unsatisfied sensuality."
