Necessary author's foreword. In general, it was planned as a kind of interview, but, while processing the recording of our conversation, I decided to do it as a monologue of the narrator. It turns out to be more understandable and accessible. Moreover, unlike many representatives of the younger generation, my interlocutor is really burdened with intellect and patriotism.
It so happened that I work as a system administrator in one military unit. The unit is not combat, but, on the contrary, technical. They are engaged in the repair and maintenance of equipment that comes from all over the Central Military District. In short, a medium-sized rembaza.
I got there by my own patronage, one might say. Yes, I love computers and I think at a decent level. I'm even studying to be a programmer. In absentia. It could have been in person, but the point? I gave my debt to the Motherland, because the first attempt to get a higher education was successfully failed by me because of my own slovenliness and desire to get rich, which brought me to Kandalaksha for a year. I don’t know what kind of anti-tank officer I’ll turn out to be if necessary, but I still shudder from the photo of the “Metis” on the Internet.
We were also taught to use the "Cornet", but in theory. But "Metis", to which in a brigade of missiles just a shaft, and dragged from the heart, and shot.
Having demobilized, I felt how new horizons of being were opening. I re-entered the university, and naturally, I began to look for where to apply myself in terms of earnings. By profession, of course. You yourself know how this is, I got a job in two offices at once, where there was no need to sit from bell to bell. Naturally, according to the "gray scheme". But it suits me, the meter is ticking, and my name is when it caught fire.
And all it would be fine, but in my house and in the same entrance with me there is one major who serves in this unit and to whom I reanimated the computer out of stupidity.
So I received an invitation to work for the benefit of our army.
On the one hand, the work is official, seniority, it seems like even a civil service. Well, I don’t have a clear prejudice against our Armed Forces. And I agreed. True, I'm not working as a sysadmin. There is no such unit in the staffing table. I am a part-time mechanic in BOD. BOD is not a ship, of course, but a bath and laundry complex. And I have been locksmith and mechanic for a year and a half. Although during this time I was not worthy to look at him. There is no need.
In general, they took me as a person who understands computers and other things with the wording "we need a competent fighter for electronic trading, and in general everything should be put in order." I'll start with the second part. With putting everything in order.
It turned out that there was nothing to tidy up. Not in the sense that everything is fine, but in the fact that there is nothing in the part. That is, computers are standing, but they are not on the balance sheet. Not provided. As well as printers. And in which case (and the case came on the third week of my work) it is not possible to buy any detail.
I found out that the commander supplied the accounting and financial department with computers in a very simple way. He wrote out bonuses to employees who bought equipment on them and then wrote him memoranda or reports (depending on who is military or civilian) with a request to allow them to work for the benefit of a part on a personal computer. And that's how they work. What software is on them, I think, is not worth explaining. If something unplanned happens, like a suddenly deceased video card from the chief accountant, then it is unrealistic to buy another one instead. No article, no money. Who helps? That's right, sweaty. And the correct one was poured in the rembase. That is, capable of giving birth to a vidyuhu within a couple of hours.
Although this summer there was a slight shock. Allocated as much as 120 thousand for the purchase of licensed software. Strange, there are no computers, but they give money for software. Well, we twisted it a little, and also patched up the mesh.
In general, in a year and a half, the work has been adjusted at the very least. That is, I am not ashamed of the salary I receive as much as seven and a half thousand. Considering that once a week I come for half a day for preventive maintenance, so, listen to complaints, and when something is broken or poked in the wrong place. Well, they give prizes. The prize is generally such a tangible thing.
So I'm not really straining myself, but the job is done. At least, the accounting is automatic, reports are generated, the bosses are happy. Only the sword of Damocles is still hanging, if suddenly something is covered. Then yes, alarm, alarm, throwing.
And so in August I decided to dash to the south. With a good company, and even with a girl. So to speak, to secure an acquaintance. And on the fourth day, as soon as everything was back on track, "flew in." A call from the authorities, and it was not the chief accountant who called, as usual, but the comrade lieutenant colonel himself. Like, where are you, you are not just needed, but urgently needed. My attempts to jump off, they say, in the south, four hundred kilometers away, maybe upon arrival, did not give any result. The car is leaving for you, just tell me where to drive up. Otherwise, all of us here will come to the khan, we will go to execution in the best case.
Shuddering at the prospect of driving 400 km in a UAZ and being shot at best, I began to prepare for my departure. True, the arrival of not a soldier on a "goat", but two commendations on a "Focus" with flashing lights somewhat pleased, and at the same time raised the level of my importance in the company to the skies. That is how he did not rise above average. Yes, they talked about the topic that was not very hot, apparently, otherwise the helicopter would have been sent. But thanks for that too.
All attempts to find out what happened there among the hulks carrying me gave nothing. "Yes, your ass is there," one of them remarked gloomily. "True, not only you." A very impressive start.
Bursting into my own accounting department, I saw a picture that could shake any administrator to the very roots of his hair. Nothing worked. Honestly, I wanted to ask in Watson's voice: "But damn it, Holmes, HOW?", And then cry.
It turned out that on the second day after I left, the latest antivirus was delivered. Recommended, so to speak, by the Ministry of Defense. That is, it is mandatory for use. Since I was not in the city, the commander, as usual, entrusted the caretaker with this. And he, without thinking for a long time, rushed to the hospital, to a friend, and he, out of the kindness of his soul, gave him a soldier from among the sick. Who seemed to be a computer savvy. The soldier installed the antivirus according to the instructions, everything is fine. But then Doctor Web asked him if it was necessary to change all the settings as expected? And he, without thinking, answered in the affirmative. And ran a full scan.
In general, this doctor knocked out everything he saw fit. And he considered everything harmful, except for the licensed "Windows". The finish. Then there were three weeks of shock work, under the vigilant gaze of fairly relaxed warehouse and accounting. Which was not very pleasant to write out all the movements by hand. And we moved a lot, because it was through our rembase that the neighboring parts were supplied with oil, filters and other trifles.
Having restored everything, I thought I could relax. It was not so. Then a nightmare began in the form of a series of checks by the Commission for Supervision over the Preservation of State Secrets. It is clear that it is necessary to keep the secret, especially the state one. And now I will tell you, in fact, why I started this whole story.
This year, Shoigu's order on the maximum protection of information systems came to all parts. Apparently, they could not agree with Medvedev, and the scythe really found it on the stone. Medvedev issued a decree (or whatever) on the conduct of all public procurement through bidding on electronic platforms. And about electronic payments for these purchases. And we just fill the warehouses with government purchases. And this is where it starts.
It turns out that we have to participate in all electronic trading, but with due regard to the level of secrecy. Namely:
1. Computers from which they enter the trading platforms must be as closed as possible from outsiders. Well, it's simple, even if you hide behind an armored door with a sentry, there will be no problems in any military unit.
2. This notorious "Doctor Web" must be installed on the computer. Which "Doctor" is purely nominal, they redrawn it great. And he has his own updates, and he sends reports to the wrong place. Where to send. Okay, this question seems to have been closed. Only now you still need to install all programs only licensed. It is also experienced.
3. The provider, too, should not be anyhow. And what you need. Whether it is a military man, I don’t know. But the situation is funny - you can't connect to the usual ones, and no one knows which one can or should be.
4. Subscriber station with data encryption system. This is understandable, it is logical.
5. Responsible for bidding. A person who has access to an electronic site through a secret computer.
We will actually fulfill point 1 and actually fulfilled point 2. And the rest … dreams.
1. There are no computers. That is, they are, but they are not. Okay, one for the part where they are engaged in procurement, it is not difficult to select / buy. Moreover, not all parts of our troops are purchased at these auctions.
3. Provider … There are rumors that the military communications should be involved in this, but these are rumors. In reality, I have never encountered them. But how, then, to do this work, how to buy something, if the commander is supposed to have sex for connecting to a civilian provider, but the other is not?
4. There is still a moment. The HGT service (storage of state secrets, in short if) must issue us a permit to equip a subscriber station. And on the basis of this permission, they must allocate money for the purchase of equipment. But permission is not given, because there is still no domain on which this item should be implemented. No permission, no money, everything is in a circle.
5. I am not the only one, I know for sure. Get a job in the Ministry of Defense, and even in a specialty … I do not know where how, maybe in Moscow it is different, but here it is. They settled well in the hospital, they have both a call - so a new free supervisor of computers. But there is little sense, because they change every six months, or even more often. I know all of my people, you can even predict who will screw up and when.
Why did I start to tell all this? To be honest, I like my part. And then I would like to work, only with a normal design and other pleasures. Not a locksmith in a bath. And so that the salary is so … decent. Because even setting up our accounting computers, pumping them out after the next "Maxik, something happened to me", there is a feeling that you are doing a useful thing. An order of magnitude higher than one fund in which I also work. They pay more money there, but people do not understand what. Pleasure is zero. And in part it is another matter. It is clear that an army is without insanity, that sex is without an orgasm, but not to the same extent?
I would very much like it all to work out. For everyone, it will only be better.
