Good humor has always been appreciated in the army, and it is not without reason that the catch phrase "who served in the army does not laugh in the circus" is still in use. Friends, I suggest you smile a little (too much negativity pours out on us every day)!
British scientists have carried out the most serious research to determine the most ingenious joke on the planet. Humor for an Englishman is very serious, because the traditions of British society prescribe joking even in the most serious situations, thereby demonstrating the superiority of a mocking and sarcastic mind over any circumstances … Is it any wonder that it was the British who decided to do research work in order to determine and which of the existing jokes (or anecdotes) is considered the funniest. In an experiment that lasted a whole year and was designated as the "Laboratory of Laughter," scientists from the University of Hertfordshire, led by psychologist Professor Richard Wiseman, conducted a survey of two million people around the world via the Internet. To assess the quality of humor and concentration of wit was required on a five-point scale - from "not very funny" to "very funny." At the same time, so to speak, along the way, we managed to find out which nations are tight in terms of humor, and who are quite the opposite. So, the Germans much more often than others were delighted with almost every joke, while the Canadians on very rare occasions found it “very funny.” But what, in principle, is the secret of a good joke? Now that the research has been completed, Professor Wiseman is ready to answer this question: "A joke works when it makes us feel superior, when it relieves the emotional stress caused by an anxious situation, or when it shocks us with its absurdity."
Scientifically recognized as the best joke in the world - the hunter anecdote - contains all three elements. There she is!
… Two hunters from New Jersey are making their way through the forest.
Suddenly one of them falls to the ground as if knocked down, his eyes roll back, breathing is not heard … Seeing such a thing, his friend grabs his mobile phone and calls the ambulance. “My friend is dead! he shouts in panic to the operator on duty. - What should I do?" The operator on the other end of the line responds softly, “First of all, calm down and not worry. I can help you. But let's make sure he's really dead."
There is silence … Then a shot is heard. The man picks up the phone again: "O / 'kay. What's next?"
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And a few more winning anecdotes.
Best British Joke:
A woman with a baby gets on the bus. The driver, looking at the baby, suddenly says: “This is the ugliest baby I have ever met in my life!” An angry woman walks into the back seat, sits down and says to her male neighbor: “Our driver just insulted me!” The passenger neighbor replies: "Go to him immediately and cut him off properly. And while I will hold your monkey! …"
Best Canadian Joke:
When NASA first began launching astronauts into orbit, it soon became clear that ballpoint pens stopped writing in zero gravity. What to do? It took scientists ten years and 12 billion dollars to solve this problem and invent a fountain pen capable of writing in zero gravity, upside down, under water, on any surface and at temperatures ranging from ultra-low to three hundred degrees Celsius … Meanwhile, the Russians began to use a pencil.
Best German Joke:
The general notices that one of the soldiers is behaving very strangely: he keeps picking up some old pieces of paper, examining them, throwing them away and whispering at the same time: "No, that's not it!" The general orders a psychiatric examination. The psychiatrist examines the patient, comes to the conclusion that the soldier is mentally ill, and writes out an opinion on his demobilization. The soldier takes the certificate, smiles happily and says: "And this is that!"
Best Australian Joke:
An extremely agitated woman enters the doctor's office. “Doctor, look at me! When I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror, I was horrified to see that my hair is like wire, my skin is wrinkled and pale, my eyes are bloodshot and in general I look like a dead man. What's the matter with me, doctor? " The doctor examines the patient and, after completing the examination, announces: "Well, I can assure you that everything is in order with your vision!"
Best American Joke:
Two buddies are playing golf at a local golf course. One of them is already almost bringing his club up to strike, when he suddenly notices a long funeral procession moving along the road. He pulls his hand away, removes his golf cap, closes his eyes and plunges into prayer. Shocked by this behavior, a friend says: “This is the deepest and most touching sight that I have ever witnessed in my life. You are really a remarkably kind person!"
“Yes,” he replies when he’s finished praying. “You and I, you know, have been married for 35 years!”
… And finally, a few anecdotes about the "Chukchi".
Where can we go without them? But in Britain, for some reason, the Scots and Irish play the role of "Chukchi". In anecdote folklore, both are portrayed as such clumsy simpletons, idiots and rednecks, who are trapped at every step. And although this very little corresponds to reality, anecdote legends insist on their own. Can you argue with an anecdote?
* * *
… An Irishman calls the travel agency: "How long will it take my flight to London?" Intending to look at the schedule, the clerk tells him:
"Wait a minute, sir!"
"Many thanks!" - the satisfied Irishman answers and hangs up the phone.
* * *
… The Scotsman is returning home from a trip to England. "Well, how was it in London?" - ask his family. "Never mind! - the Scotsman answers. - Here are just some strange people, these Englishmen. All night in the hotel they beat me on the wall like crazy!"
- Well, what about you?
- Yes, I’m nothing! As he played his bagpipes, he continued to play!
* * *
… An Irishman who came to London on vacation showed up at a hotel in the West End. The bellboy, picking up a suitcase, led him to the room.
- Just look! - the Irishman began to be indignant. “Don't you think that just because I’m from Ireland, you’ll be able to foist me on this cramped kennel!”
- Calm down, sir! - objected the bellhop. - It's an elevator.
* * *
… An Englishman traveling through Southern Ireland climbed to the top of a sheer cliff. On the trail he met a local farmer.
- Dangerous cliff! the Englishman said, addressing him. - Don't you think that it would be worth hanging a warning sign here so that no one fell down?
“Your truth, sir,” replied the farmer. - We had a sign here. But since no one fell, we removed it! Why stand in vain?
* * *
Do you know who, according to the findings of scientists, has the most subtle and highly developed sense of humor? Those who, from the bottom of their hearts, to tears, without experiencing the slightest inferiority complex, are ready to laugh at themselves - at their mistakes, mistakes, getting into a mess and actions inappropriately. Laugh at yourself! And then you will not hear how others laugh at you.
